There's places that I've been in, I didn't like too will,
New England's far too bloody cold, and Winton's hot as hell;
The Walgett beer is always warm, in each there's something crook,
But each and all are perfect to this place they call Tobruk.

We reckoned El Aghella was none too flash a place;
El Abiar and Beda Fomm weren't in the blinkin' race,
At towns this side of Benghazi we hadn't time to look,
But I'll take my oath they're better than this place they call Tobruk.

I've seen some dust storms back at home that made the housewives work,
Here there's enough inside our shirts to smother all of Bourke;
Two diggers cleaned their dugout and their blankets out they shook
Two colonels perished in the dust in this place they call Tobruk.

There's militant teetotallers who abhor all kinds of drink,
There's wives who break good bottles, pour them down the sink;
This place would suit them to the ground we've searched in every nook;
But booze is rare a hen's teeth in this place they call Tobruk.

There's centipedes like pythons and countless hordes of fleas,
As big as poodle dogs they come a snapping found your knees;
And scorpions large as A.F.V.'s come out to have a look,
There's surely lots of livestock in this place they call Tobruk.

The shelling's nice and frequent and they whistle overhead,
You go into your dugout and find shrapnel in your bed;
And when the stukas dive on us we never pause to look,
We're down our holes like rabbits in this place they call Tobruk.

Sometimes we go in swimming and float about at ease,
The water clear as crystal and a nice clean salty breeze;
When down comes blasted Herman and we have to sling our hook,
We dive clear to the bottom in this place they call Tobruk.

I really do not think this place was meant for me and you,
Let's return it to the Arab and he knows what he can do;
We'll leave the God-forsaken place without one backward look,
We've called it lots of other names - this place they call Toburk.